Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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