we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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