My Higher Power is John Stamos
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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