iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
