I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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