it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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