Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
