dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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