so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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