tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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