I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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