Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she told me i tasted like america
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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