I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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