it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
