Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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