You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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