Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
