You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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