i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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