I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
