I have demons in me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
