just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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