Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
