Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
