i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
