My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
