Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize