So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
