I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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