I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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