I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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