it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
from now on my penis is your penis
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
