Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
