His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize