i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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