google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Rumble strips road head = magical
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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