the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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