lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
whose parrot is this?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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