I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
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A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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