And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
