I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
