You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No subtext here. People are naked.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
