omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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