OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
