That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
