does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize