i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
