Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
