im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
