Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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