Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
