SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
