shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
