After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
