Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
