I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
