...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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