If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
