My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?