She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.