we're blogging at a bar
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.