I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Drunk is not a location!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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