I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
