I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
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This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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