You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.