yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
