He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
