Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So vagazzling was a success
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
