Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
