i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize