My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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