is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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