Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
honey bunches of taint.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize