I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dick very happy bro
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
