I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Vodka?
Forever.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
