I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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