imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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